Seventeen weeks.

I am almost eighteen weeks pregnant, so nearly halfway. It is getting more real now. My tummy is sticking out a bit and is swollen like I have a pot belly. It is rock hard though, not like fat but like a balloon. I still don’t look really pregnant, but can’t fit into lots of my clothes as my hips are widening a lot. I basically just look a bit fat, which is difficult to handle mentally, although I know that it is for a good cause! It does bring up a few old issues of feeling like I want to lose weight, but I have to surrender to the pregnancy and just deal with the fact that I will be carrying extra weight for the next year or so. The midwife has said that I might begin to feel you moving soon. Apparently it feels like fluttering or bubbles low down in my tummy, but I don’t think I’ve felt it yet. My tummy is a bit rumbly so I keep wondering, but I don’t think I’ve felt you move for certain yet.

I am back at work this week after having a week off for Christmas. On Christmas Day, everyone wanted to talk about you and how I was feeling and what a year we had ahead of us.It was my last Christmas as a kid and not as a mum, so I got pretty spoilt. Once we got back from Torquay, Lee and I went a bit nuts trying to get things done on the house as we only have six months to get it done and I’ll be out of action for the last month or so. As long as there is a comfortable bedroom for me and for you, and a functioning kitchen and bathroom, I’ll be fine.

We have our 20 week scan on January 23. I’m really excited, but a bit nervous. That is the biggest scan when you can see lots of details and find out the gender. We are going to wait for the surprise, as I think that there is no surprise like it in life. I don’t really mind either way. I’d like a boy as I love the idea of having a big gorgeous boy around and I know that Lee would love someone to follow him around in the shed. But I would love a girl as Mum and I are so close and I’d like that relationship with a daughter. Either way, I will be rapt.

We have been thinking about names a bit. When we first got pregnant we were thinking about them all the time, but have stopped recently for some reason. I think having a shortlist is a good idea, then deciding once we meet you. The middle names will be Jennifer for a girl and Martin for a boy, after both our parents as it is a nice way to honour them. Two birds with one stone! The girls names we like are Eden, Asher, Harper and Charlotte. The boys names are Tom, Jesse, Finn and Asher. It changes all the time though and we won’t decide for certain until we meet you.